Diary of a Broke College Student: Holiday Edition | The Washington Center

Diary of a Broke College Student: Holiday Edition

Fine… I’ll admit it. I am not ready for the holiday season. I’ve planned poorly. I’m broke, my credit’s bad, and I don’t know what anyone wants. What’s my solution? That’s a good question. I’m hoping to return to this blog in a few weeks to find my solution in the comments.

For the time being, I guess you could say that I’m taking the Trump approach. I have no plan, but it’s going to be very good. It’s really, really, going to be great. I’ve spoken to hundreds of people [in the North Pole] and they told me that this Christmas is going to be amazing, believe me. That’s what they’re telling me.



But in all seriousness, it’s going to be difficult to fulfill everyone’s holiday wishes this year. That’s not to say that this year is going to be a complete wash, certainly not for me at least. Because I have the greatest gift of all: the silver lining. And with that in mind, let’s take a look at why this holiday season is playing right into the palm of my hand:


The Silver Lining


  • Not to brag, but I’ll inevitably be on the winning end of this holiday season. There’s no two ways around it. People have more money to spend on me than I do on them. I’ll be sure to get everyone back next year after I graduate... thanks fam.
  • I have no significant other. You know what that means? It means I get to cut my holiday spending in half. And double my free time. Which will probably be used searching for a significant other.
  • I can avoid cumbersome holiday events, like the Yankee swaps, white elephants and other events of the like. Here’s what I’ll say: “Meh, I can’t afford it, but I wish I could go!” Boom. Jokes on them. Easy as that. And I don’t have to answer those awkward family questions over and over again... I’ve been in college for 7 years now, please stop asking me how it is.
  • People don’t expect much out of me. They know I’m an unpaid intern, a title that carries two specific implications:

-I can’t afford extravagant gifts
-People want to “help me out.” Their words, not mine.


I know that makes me sound like a terrible person. But I assure you *back to Trump* I’m a very good person, and an even better gift giver. My friend, who happens to be the best gift giver in the world, told me that I’m an amazing gift giver. I’m an expensive gift giver too, which makes me really, really good- the best even.

I say all these things in a half-joking manner, but the reality is that as long as I do some holiday preparation - regardless of how minimal it may be - I’ll be fine. If you’re in the same boat as me, do yourself a favor and relax. Holiday anxiety is very real, and there’s nothing more comforting than when someone else says they haven’t started shopping yet, but don’t let that become your excuse. Don’t be the last one to get everything out of the way. Grab your gifts, grab your ugly sweater, send out your Christmas cards, check yes or no on your party invitations, and take a deep breathe. It’ll all be over soon.

Read Jack's previous blog posts

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